Dog not ready emotionally for spay surgery

[LilF]

I am being pressured to get Blossom spayed. If you recall she spent a month in the shelter trembling 24/7 and shut down. I have had her about 2 months and I have worked hard with her on her separation anxiety and riding in the car. I can finally leave the house for a bit and she is still nervous but she is learning to trust I will be back. I have not had great luck with getting her to ride in the car. She has not seen a vet yet. I am working every day on this. She also does not react well to all people, barking and scaring them. She needs some socialization But my point is that building trust with her on the 2 main issues of separation anxiety and travel are not arbitrary. The REASON she doesn't want to ride in the car is that she fears going back to the shelter. Won't being at the vet feel like "Oh gee, I was right, riding in the car took me to the shelter again". Trust takes time to build What is wrong with those morons? I worked hard with her and to have her go backwards because I took her to and left her (in her mind what is the shelter again) would break my heart too. I have put off my own trips to doctors out of state because she won't go and it is not an option to not take her with me. I cannot have her regress because the work is hard and would she ever trust again? I cannot be a prisoner in my home because she wasn't given enough time. Then I come to find out my vet doesn't do the surgery leaving her hormones in tact and I would have to travel even further. I am not sure the shelter would even be happy with leaving her hormones in tact. I was traumatized in June leaving JJ at the hospital where he died in 1 hour and for me to leave Blossom with her thinking I sent her to the shelter leaves her with the same emotional pain JJ had which I cannot bear again. Blossom trusts me and it is too soon to have her spayed and left at a clinic she has never been to before. This is why I never wanted any more dogs---I cannot bear the decisions, pressure and pain inflicted on my dog that I live with . I adopted a dog in 2015 and it took me MONTHS to get him out the back door and MONTHS to get him together with my resident dogs.

 

[Dr. Christina]

Could your veterinarian contact the shelter, say you are totally responsible, but it is just not wise to do it now?

If not, maybe work with an pet communicator to be in constant contact with Blossom during her stay. Ask the vet if you can sit in the waiting room (or in your car) until the moment they give her the sedative. The to be there when she wakes up. Many clinics actually will do that. With some prodding.

Dr. C

 

[LilF]

Dr. Christina, at this point I think I do want her to have her hormones too. I did think my vet was able to do it when I was exploring and he said the surgery wasn't much different technically and now he tells me he doesn't actually do it. My regular vet is 10 minutes from home and I feel better with him doing it than a totally new clinic an hour away. So I might have to do give up preserving her hormones for the feeling of familiarity with having her surgery at my regular vets. I also am concerned about change in temperament with removing her hormones. She has a sweet temperament. I was also going to say I was going to get a trainer and try and delay things as much as I can. Besides by Dec 15th you cannot even get a REGULAR vet appointment and my vet is leaving for 2 weeks. Maybe I can send pics to show she is not pregnant! She is never alone outside or off leash and I don't think her male plushies are a threat
I was going through my notes from our HA calls and did find the animal intuitives we discussed and am going to do a session for both dogs, JJ and Blossom. I will also tell Blossom that I am not leaving her and I always tell her she is not going back to the shelter because I think on some energetic level she will understand me.

 

[GinnyW]

Well, I wouldn't be in a big hurry for the spay. And I would also hold out for the OSS - it's a whole lifetime, for her, and she will do ever so much better with all her hormones. She won't be trouble; most "single" girls just coast right on through their heats -and any irregularities are readily dealt with by means of homeopathy.
Adopt an air of confidence and knowledge, and just shine the shelter on if they bug you. They're NOT coming for her, and you ARE going to "fix" her. Since you will not be altering her hormonal production, there is no advantage to doing the surgery sooner or later, as long as she is not in heat at the time.
Her trust of you and her situation is growing every day, so you must trust HER to be secure, too. Maybe less emphasis on management, and more on love and admiration every moment. She'll surprise you.

 

[LilF]

Ginny, I do not know what to tell them. I ignored the email with the deadline. I started to write some big thing and then decided to say nothing. I would at some point say "she isn't ready." and that is all. I suppose they would tell me to drug her and question why she rode home from for 4 hours to get here and then the next day she freaked out in the car. What are the statistics on pyometra which is what people scare me with. I have read that the risk of mammary cancer is equal to the spayed group if the dog's tissues have been already sensitized with having a first heat. Is THAT true too? Everyone blames hormones for everything without considering food, the environment etc... I know for humans hormones are now considered to increase longevity by 7 years yet people are still maligning estrogen without considering other variables. I found one reproductive vet in the area about an hour away. JJ was neutered at age 7 and Gabby spayed at about 2. Both lived a long life to over 15. The dog next door is 17, eats crappy food, neighbors put pesticides on the lawn and the dog walks on it yet lives longer than my two. So I am stressed because the rescue promised I would have her spayed and it was good they agreed but she hasn't even been to a vet yet to even have her nails trimmed. Thank you for your tell it like it is answers---I love them..... She DOES surprise me and I see everyday of how she is so "perceptive of my needs", protective and loyal and trusting. You cannot undo trauma that she went through without time. I have a rule, especially with pets and kids, never violate their trust in you and I have held to that my whole life. Thanks Ginny!!!

 

[Dr. Jean Hofve]

Don't worry about all the scary statistics. Every dog is an individual, and certainly not all those things will apply in your case, especially since you are applying holistic principles.

For her fears, I would suggest using flower essences, Tellington TTouch, EFT/Tapping, and possibly calming herbs, along with the desensitization training you are doing.

 

[GinnyW]

Thanks, Jean! My thoughts exactly. It's also good to recall that YOUR thoughts need to be on straight - the more you think in terms of "what-ifs" and the all-too-common problems of dogs WITHOUT all the mental and physical tools we teach here, you will to some degree hold her back from achieving her best health, not to mention her emotional stability and happiness. Do all the good stuff, don't worry about what you think is missing - just decide she is boundlessly healthy and capable BECAUSE SHE IS.

...Thank YOU for being all you are.

 

[LilF]

Dr Jean and Ginny, Somehow I feel this dog is going to turn me into a different kind of owner. This new girl in town is an enigma. How does she know as soon as I put a piece of food in my mouth,when she is upstairs and I am downstairs quietly cutting an apple to eat, then there she is all big eyed standing at my feet... It is like she is either super smart, has super hearing or reads my mind. Also seems she has 360 degree visual field. I can't get away with anything. So I will tell the people that be....that my vet does not think she is ready yet and I am working with her. I want her to have a quality of life through the years, with her hormones,and without being confused by my state of What -if and worries. So we will BOTH live like dogs. I call her my little pitty girl.
Tomorrow I will take her for a ride and expect that she will have fun like my JJ did. I will have Thelma and Louise on my mind instead of fear that she will freak out! Blossom will think I have lost my marbles. I will look up the ttouch and tapping (I have used tapping on myself) on youtube university. Will try the rescue remedy on a treat before we go unless there is something better. I bought about 8 bottles they were on sale so I sprinkle it on the rug she lays on when I leave the house too. I found out today she knows "give me paw" I think she had a home before and wish I knew how she ended up in a shelter. Thank you both for your support and encouraging words. It helps a lot!

 

[Dr. Jean Hofve]

I have found that, as we advance in our own understanding, our animal companions also advance... the new ones do tend to be more, um, challenging! But this is a great path for us and our pals to learn and grow! (Though we will look back fondly on those simpler days! )

 

[LilF]

I got an email they, the rescue and shelter want her spayed by Dec 15th. Well she is not ready. I have not even been able to get her to the vet. I made a contact with the vet an hour away who does the OSS but nothing happens overnight, nor do I want it to. She will think she was left at a shelter again. I cannot even get her to the vet, much less one an hour away. MY vet is also on vacation for 2 weeks. What do they think --I DO NOT WANT PUPPIES, she is not around other dogs, and she is not in heat. They said to spay her in a TIMELY manner. Well for a dog shut down 2 months ago, it is not a timely time yet. The rescue who I guess technically took in my dog which is only a procedural thing , says if I do not provide documentation of her spay then the dog warden will come after HIM. Since when does a dog warden have dominion over a spay? Blossom has made tremendous progress with separation anxiety in the house. How much do they expect a dog to do. I was told to "go slow" with her but dropping her off at some hospital right now, she is not ready for. My vet hasn't seen her yet. I was trying to get more info on the OSS, the place an hour away, but not likely I could get her there. My vet who would spay is 15 min or less. Maybe she could get hormone replacement if I have to get her spayed. But I cannot take the pressure myself anymore. and wish they would just shut up. I was not the one who caused her to shut down and tremble for a month.