Behavior issues around meal times with kitties Bella and Maya

[DayshaG]

Good morning! I am a newer member to the community as I navigate the landscape of kidney dis-ease with my 13 1/2 yo cat Bella. Her litter-mate Maya is also a beloved member of this 2-cat family home! As Bella's BEAM took a hit in the last 12+ months, which I am working on improving, I have noticed Maya has become a bit of a bully as far as aggressive behavior, especially around meal times. In the last 5 or so years, I have always fed them in separate rooms as Maya is like a feline vacuum and will eat quickly, then if she is around Bella, she will steal her food which made Bella an anxious eater. Separating them at meal times has helped. Earlier this week, Maya had her annual wellness exam and blood work done...a very healthy kitty, all in normal range. (Side note: it is interesting that one kitty has kidney issues, anemia and elevated calcium at her last blood work in August, but her sister is A-OK). My cats always are a bit stressed out upon coming home from the vet with the usual hissing and aggression. Maya is certainly displaying extra hissing this week and outward aggressive behavior as far as jumping or lurching at Bella unprovoked. I have my Feliway diffuser plugged in since the vet visit but there is no change. I'll post a final afterthought. This has made me think of Darwin and survival of the fittest. Is this possible that if Maya has seen a decrease in BEAM in Bella that she will increase her bully behavior? When I am prepping their meals, they both are at my feet and that is when Maya will hiss and lunge, but even after meal time, Maya will still lunge at her. I am attaching a pic of my girls from 2022. Bella is the tiger and Maya is the calico. @Dr. Jeff @Dr. Christina @Dr. Jean Hofve

 

[Dr. Christina]

Interesting pondering - I'll post a final afterthought. This has made me think of Darwin and survival of the fittest. Is this possible that if Maya has seen a decrease in BEAM in Bella that she will increase her bully behavior? When I am prepping their meals, they both are at my feet and that is when Maya will hiss and lunge, but even after meal time, Maya will still lunge at her.
I do not think it is Darwin's, just normal jockeying for position. Cats are not pack animals, so we see interesting behaviors when we have more than one. And Gail Pope at Brighthaven.org had more than 90 at one point, yet no negative interactions.

I would suggest separating them while you are preparing the meals. Maybe, when you have time, spend a few minutes before preparing meals with active play, either with both, or individually.

Focus on building Bella's health so she will be less anxious in general.

Maybe watch both of Anitra Frazier's talks on how much our kitties pick up on our thoughts and emotions.

Try EFT (emotional freedom technique) - see webinars

Finally, explore the whole world of flower essences. I will let Dr. Jean chime in here. I would suspect Safe Space would be good.

A few ideas to ponder,
Dr. Christina

 

[DayshaG]

Interesting pondering - I'll post a final afterthought. This has made me think of Darwin and survival of the fittest. Is this possible that if Maya has seen a decrease in BEAM in Bella that she will increase her bully behavior? When I am prepping their meals, they both are at my feet and that is when Maya will hiss and lunge, but even after meal time, Maya will still lunge at her.
I do not think it is Darwin's, just normal jockeying for position. Cats are not pack animals, so we see interesting behaviors when we have more than one. And Gail Pope at Brighthaven.org had more than 90 at one point, yet no negative interactions.

I would suggest separating them while you are preparing the meals. Maybe, when you have time, spend a few minutes before preparing meals with active play, either with both, or individually.

Focus on building Bella's health so she will be less anxious in general.

Maybe watch both of Anitra Frazier's talks on how much our kitties pick up on our thoughts and emotions.

Try EFT (emotional freedom technique) - see webinars

Finally, explore the whole world of flower essences. I will let Dr. Jean chime in here. I would suspect Safe Space would be good.

A few ideas to ponder,
Dr. Christina

Thank you @Dr. Christina . OK, I can prepare the meals separately as well, too. I watched two of the Anitra Frazier videos in the HA! library, I think that may be what you are referring to? Yes, I will look into the EFT. I have done classes over the years to learn it for myself! I did hear about the EFT on pets while listening in on one of the recent summits. And I am open to flower essences. I look forward to what your colleagues have to say!

 

[Dr. Jean Hofve]

This is absolutely normal when one cat has been to the vet, they come home smelling different. Cats are very visual, and when Bella looked normal but smelled weird, Maya reacted. This should dissipate in a couple of days. (The flower essences recommended below will also help with this.)

Totally agree with Dr. Christina here. Definitely prepare meals and feed separately. If possible, do Play Therapy with Maya will help move her aggression into an acceptable channel.

This is the exact situation Jackson Galaxy and I created Ultimate Peacemaker for! In fact, the original "bully" cat we worked with was also named Maya! ? You may be able to use just Peacemaker, but if you can swing it, the set is really designed just for this.

EFT would also be very helpful here, and better yet, it is free to learn and to apply!

Here's a good beginner video:

Here's my article about using it for animals: EFT Tapping for Animals | Little Big Cat - Dr. Jean Hofve

This is a very solvable problem! Please keep us posted on their progress!

 

[Dr. Jeff]

Earlier this week, Maya had her annual wellness exam and blood work done...a very healthy kitty, all in normal range. (Side note: it is interesting that one kitty has kidney issues, anemia and elevated calcium at her last blood work in August, but her sister is A-OK).

This a very similar situation (1 pet getting sick but the other does not) to how the Happiness Protocol for reducing susceptibility to dis-ease was born:

The Happiness Protocol in Your Pet's Life

At HA! we are committed to much more than helping pets become dis-ease free. We promote restoring and maintaining vitality, balance, energy, & happiness.

www.holisticactions.com

Molecular mechanism of increasing chronic dis-eases, individuality, allergy, and cancer

Below are two interesting articles about how and why chronic dis-eases are on the rise. The first is especially interesting when taken in the context of Vitality, Balance and individualization. The author discusses "precision" molecular medicine and not the previous goal of just a few years...

www.holisticactions.com

In Loving Memory of Vanya Feinman

Today is Labor Day Monday 9/7/20, and I am writing to share a piece of sad news. Three days ago we lost our sweet and beautiful Vanya Marie Land Feinman. Thank you to all of her friends who knew and supported her and to Jen, Diane, Dr. Chuck Noonan, Kate, who helped her (and us) during her...

www.holisticactions.com

 

[Dr. Jean Hofve]

My goodness, this kind of situation has inspired some amazing work!! I'm sorry you're having to go through this, Daysha, but what a learning opportunity for our community!

 

[DayshaG]

This is absolutely normal when one cat has been to the vet, they come home smelling different. Cats are very visual, and when Bella looked normal but smelled weird, Maya reacted. This should dissipate in a couple of days. (The flower essences recommended below will also help with this.)

Totally agree with Dr. Christina here. Definitely prepare meals and feed separately. If possible, do Play Therapy with Maya will help move her aggression into an acceptable channel.

This is the exact situation Jackson Galaxy and I created Ultimate Peacemaker for! In fact, the original "bully" cat we worked with was also named Maya! ? You may be able to use just Peacemaker, but if you can swing it, the set is really designed just for this.

EFT would also be very helpful here, and better yet, it is free to learn and to apply!

Here's a good beginner video:

Here's my article about using it for animals: EFT Tapping for Animals | Little Big Cat - Dr. Jean Hofve

This is a very solvable problem! Please keep us posted on their progress!

@Dr. Jean Hofve wow thank you! 1st of all to all of you...the aggressive behavior is waning so that is good. As I thought from past experience seems to be the vet visit that spurred this. Now...I was very excited to see Jessica Ortner as I have learned EFT in the past in classes, have had my counselor also use it with me, and have taken private lessons from a Dominican sister who is passionate with EFT as well. I have see the Ortners on video, and always enjoyed them. But how exciting I can use myself as a surrogate for Bella and Maya! I will definitely be trying this. And I admit, I have seen Jackson Galaxy on TV over the years but I thoroughly enjoyed your articles you posted above. I also am interested in the flower essences. Are they organic ingredients? The set sounds very appropriate for my girls! Thank you for so much helpful information. XOXO

 

[DayshaG]

This a very similar situation (1 pet getting sick but the other does not) to how the Happiness Protocol for reducing susceptibility to dis-ease was born:

The Happiness Protocol in Your Pet's Life

At HA! we are committed to much more than helping pets become dis-ease free. We promote restoring and maintaining vitality, balance, energy, & happiness.

www.holisticactions.com

Molecular mechanism of increasing chronic dis-eases, individuality, allergy, and cancer

Below are two interesting articles about how and why chronic dis-eases are on the rise. The first is especially interesting when taken in the context of Vitality, Balance and individualization. The author discusses "precision" molecular medicine and not the previous goal of just a few years...

www.holisticactions.com

In Loving Memory of Vanya Feinman

Today is Labor Day Monday 9/7/20, and I am writing to share a piece of sad news. Three days ago we lost our sweet and beautiful Vanya Marie Land Feinman. Thank you to all of her friends who knew and supported her and to Jen, Diane, Dr. Chuck Noonan, Kate, who helped her (and us) during her...

www.holisticactions.com

@Dr. Jeff thank you for your response. Though I still need to read the 1st two links which seem related to our discussion, I was wondering the significance of posting about Vanya? Looked like a very sweet doggy though!

 

[Dr. Jeff]

Thanks for asking Daysha!

That post is because I wanted to introduce the ideas of individuality, susceptibility, and happiness into this current discussion.

 

[DayshaG]

Thanks for asking Daysha!

That post is because I wanted to introduce the ideas of individuality, susceptibility, and happiness into this current discussion.

@Dr. Jeff I am all for that! ?

 

[DayshaG]

Thanks for asking Daysha!

That post is because I wanted to introduce the ideas of individuality, susceptibility, and happiness into this current discussion.

@Dr. Jeff I have taken the time to review the previous post with three suggested article/video links on individuality, susceptibility and happiness. I realized the link for Vanya sent me to the middle of the thread initially and I just now realized after reading from start to finish that Vanya was your own beloved pet. Such a precious picture of her, by the way! I am sorry for you and your family's loss of your beloved friend a few years back. I truly think our pets choose us in life and have much to teach us. ?

 

[Dr. Jeff]

I am sorry for you and your family's loss of your beloved friend a few years back. I truly think our pets choose us in life and have much to teach us

Thanks so much for your condolences Daysha. I really appreciate them and that you took the time to read the whole thread.

Yes, Vanya and Archie (Vanya's friend and my current rescue pup) have taught me a lot.

Tiggy and Aviva (our rescued kitties) are doing the same...

 

[DayshaG]

@Dr. Christina @Dr. Jeff I am looping back to this earlier thread when I 1st joined HA a few years ago. It is about Bella. Since then, Bella and Maya turned 15 a few weeks ago, and I am still in the early stages of loss of my husband (within a year). As I grow through this monumental change in my own life, I am extremely grateful for the space my kitties fill in my home and heart. As a reminder Bella at last blood tests from Fall 2024, was still at early stage kidney disease while her sister Maya is in good health! Bella still has the symptom of excess water consumption, and both kitties have osteoarthritis (of which I completely empathize having entered menopause and dealing with aching joints myself). But Bella continue to show stronger observable symptoms; less spunky, more cautious when walking than Maya, Bella reminds me of a sweet, little old lady. Recently, over the last few weeks, Bella has began vomiting again, majority of the time being early dawn hours while I am trying to sleep (which menopause also doesn't help with, LOL), I can hear her making the gagging noises and typically it is clear with some fur. She continues to over-groom. Some times, she eats so fast at meal times, she vomits her food. Also, I spoke to my holistic mobile vet recently about Maya's resurgence in aggression again almost like she senses Bella's weaker BEAM, and she said this time of year everything is waking up so it could be the change in seasons with the aggression, so I plugged in my feliway diffuser which seems to be helping some. The vet came over to provide a chiropractic adjustment for Bella and red light therapy for her nausea. FYI, I have a appt scheduled with her local vet office in a few weeks to discuss her vomiting, and will have a new blood panel drawn and test her thyroid. She just seems more frail lately and low BEAM. Also, a weird symptom is she is chewing on my lamp cords which she has done periodically over the years since kitten hood for sure, but it has been a long time. It feels like she is doing it to get my attention during the night only with the end result I think of wanting food, I certainly hope it is that and not her mind beginning to go. When I see the vet I will also have him look in her mouth as she has started a new behavior by removing her raw food from her round dish with tall sides to her food mat, which made me wonder if maybe a tooth was hurting her. I have changed over to using small flat plates which I think is helping. Lastly, now that my hubby is no longer here to feed the cats their mid day meals while I am at the work on days I am not working from home, the mobile vet suggested if could feed the cats more mini meals than my usual 4 throughout the day. I worry that I am harming Bella's BEAM by not being able to afford a pet sitter to pop in and feed her lunch and I don't think one of the timer feeders will work because Bella and Maya always need to be separated as Maya will steal Bella's meals for sure. Which means they are going without food for 8 hours during the day sometimes. Just a lot on my mind that I needed to share. I'll share the blood test results when I get them back. Thanks everyone! Hope you are all doing well. Tonight I will try and baracade some pillows around my lamp cords. Wish me luck! P.S. I do sometimes feel the kitties, especially Bella who was more my cat in the marriage, pick up on my emotional states and are affected.

 

[Dr. Jeff]

Hey Daysha!

Thanks so much for reinvigorating this thread! It's got some important stuff I had forgotten about (and now am tagging the thread for future reference).

I'm so very sorry for the loss of your husband.

She just seems more frail lately and low BEAM

Yes! This is exactly what I think is the core of all the other symptoms you describe. Even if the blood test results show hyperthyroidism or kidney dis-ease, it is her quality of life symptoms, like BEAM, that are central.

When they improve, it means that her cellular energy flow is better balanced. And everything else will also improve.

My 15 year young kitty Tiggy is also looking frail and is sleeping more. She's also drinking huge amounts of water indicative of progression of the early kidney dis-ease she was diagnosed with 2 years ago.

I recently started this muscle building formula:

https://www.chewy.com/myos-feline-muscle-formula-powder-cat/dp/503034?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=12713694207&utm_content=118989030885&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwna6_BhCbARIsALId2Z3quUm7-nnBzDomIIJqtsyshToizAhl-s6pAZxNu4P2aqUKSLM-sgwaAqBwEALw_wcB

Fortunately I found a deep-acting ("constitutional") homeopathic medicine a few years ago when she was also diagnosed with early hyperthyroidism when she was spitting up in the early am and starting to lose weight.

With sporadic doses of her remedy she has a high BEAM (for a 15+ year young kitty) and runs to her room for her food like a spry kitten.

But she also sleeps most of the day curled up in Amy's (my wife) lap.

Are you working with a vet homeopath?

 

[DayshaG]

Hey Daysha!

Thanks so much for reinvigorating this thread! It's got some important stuff I had forgotten about (and now am tagging the thread for future reference).

I'm so very sorry for the loss of your husband.

Yes! This is exactly what I think is the core of all the other symptoms you describe. Even if the blood test results show hyperthyroidism or kidney dis-ease, it is her quality of life symptoms, like BEAM, that are central.

When they improve, it means that her cellular energy flow is better balanced. And everything else will also improve.

My 15 year young kitty Tiggy is also looking frail and is sleeping more. She's also drinking huge amounts of water indicative of progression of the early kidney dis-ease she was diagnosed with 2 years ago.

I recently started this muscle building formula:

https://www.chewy.com/myos-feline-muscle-formula-powder-cat/dp/503034?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=12713694207&utm_content=118989030885&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwna6_BhCbARIsALId2Z3quUm7-nnBzDomIIJqtsyshToizAhl-s6pAZxNu4P2aqUKSLM-sgwaAqBwEALw_wcB

Fortunately I found a deep-acting ("constitutional") homeopathic medicine a few years ago when she was also diagnosed with early hyperthyroidism when she was spitting up in the early am and starting to lose weight.

With sporadic doses of her remedy she has a high BEAM (for a 15+ year young kitty) and runs to her room for her food like a spry kitten.

But she also sleeps most of the day curled up in Amy's (my wife) lap.

Are you working with a vet homeopath?

@Dr. Jeff thank you for your thoughtfulness. I hope Tiggy continues to feel as good as she can too! I was actually going to reach out to my homeopath vet, Judy Herman. I reached out to her maybe 2-3 weeks ago and she had asked I re introduce the remedy I had used with Bella the last time but it hasn't had much impact so I will schedule a call. I also notice she is overgrooming a lot and seems to have dry flakes along her lower back. Poor baby. She does love her Viva food that you introduced me to, though! Thank you for the recommendation of that product for muscle, because I am seeing muscle weakness too. Like for example, she is kneading her blanket and her nails will gently get stuck but it is like it takes a lot of effort for her to un-do them. She still shows interest in playing if I introduce it though. I'll keep in touch about the homeopathic vet and the blood work. Thank you all for being here as a supportive pet family!

 

[DayshaG]

@Dr. Jeff my holistic mobile vet that came over last week mentioned these products, have you heard of them? YuMove Advanced 360 YuMOVE ADVANCE 360 Max Strength Hip & Joint Supplement for Cats
and quail egg yolks? She also mentioned MYOS too, I see.

 

[Dr. Christina]

What a year you have had and it is wonderful that you joined us before you lost your beloved husband.

Just a few additional comments, Daysha.
You are doing a wonderful job looking for different options and carefully evaluating their response to each one. Definitely continue with the homeopathy. At their age, I would try to budget regular calls with Dr. Herman, as all the symptoms you mention can resolve with a good matching remedy.

Do not worry about not being able to pay a sitter. Our cats choose us and our lifestyles/issues. We are each on soul journeys.

particularly because you feel Bella may be emotionally connected to you, I would revisit EFT earlier in this thread. It is very powerful and even physical problems have been healed with it. Flower essences may also be very useful for all 3. There are several of @Dr. Jean Hofve (sold by Jackson Galaxy) that may help with the aggression.

Trimming her nails weekly (just a tad) may help her not get stuck.

Remember all we ever have is today, so be sure to focus on the joys of the moment, not anticipate the future with any worry. You are getting to learn that lesson, for sure.

Dr. Christina

 

[Dr. Jeff]

have you heard of them?

I have not heard of YuMove (or the Lintbells company that makes it) I'd love to learn more tho...

 

[DayshaG]

What a year you have had and it is wonderful that you joined us before you lost your beloved husband.

Just a few additional comments, Daysha.
You are doing a wonderful job looking for different options and carefully evaluating their response to each one. Definitely continue with the homeopathy. At their age, I would try to budget regular calls with Dr. Herman, as all the symptoms you mention can resolve with a good matching remedy.

Do not worry about not being able to pay a sitter. Our cats choose us and our lifestyles/issues. We are each on soul journeys.

particularly because you feel Bella may be emotionally connected to you, I would revisit EFT earlier in this thread. It is very powerful and even physical problems have been healed with it. Flower essences may also be very useful for all 3. There are several of @Dr. Jean Hofve (sold by Jackson Galaxy) that may help with the aggression.

Trimming her nails weekly (just a tad) may help her not get stuck.

Remember all we ever have is today, so be sure to focus on the joys of the moment, not anticipate the future with any worry. You are getting to learn that lesson, for sure.

Dr. Christina

@Dr. Christina, I am reminded about how much I love this community and support by your heart felt response. The experience, wisdom and care from all of you moderators is palpable. Thank you! I actually have started back with reiki and EFT the last few days with Bella, I was drawn to that. I'll keep in touch I am sure.